More Head-Hurting Thinking

Morning all! How're you?

I'm feeling right fine at the moment. Yesterday I did my first aid training (which meant getting up at *gasp* 7:35. I haven't been out of bed before 8:30 in I don't know how long, and I'm usually in bed til 9:30 or 10. Keep in mind I usually get home from work after 11!! But that'll all change when I start my new job - hopefully next Monday (not this coming Monday, the one after). I was really grumpy all night at work, but managed to only take it out on the idiotic customers. Then Michael took me for a slurpee, which made me happy. Or happier. Then I went to bed. Still pretty grumpy.

Got up at 8:30 this morning to go to step class with Amy. It was very hard to get out of bed! But it was the fancy hams instructor this morning, so I got to show off my mad hammin skilz. Apparently she doesn't teach step very often, and a couple people left class early. I couldn't figure out why; for once I was keeping up, missing only a very few steps - it was great! Then I realized that if I could keep up, it meant that the class was waaaaaay too easy for the women who come all the time, and have been doing it for ages. Darn! We also did arms, which was sweet, because I can keep up no problem due to my MASSIVE ice cream scooping muscles. And then we did abs, and although I used to believe I didn't have any, I seem to have found them, and they seem to be functioning. So yay me!

Anyhoo, on to the head-hurty topic of ...

DATING

More specifically:

DATING AS A CHRISTIAN

I tend to believe that people fall into 2 categories here. (Yes, I know. There's likely a middle ground. But as I learned in Social Studies 30 Honours [thanks Mr. Raitz!], it's much easier to argue an extreme point of view than a moderate one. You don't have to spend so much time spelling out the details. For the sake of my argument, there are 2 categories. My blog, my arguments!)

#1 - OH MY GOSH I NEED A MAN/WOMAN/SPOUSE

These people are LOOKING for a partner. They're convinced that God wants them married, and they're hunting down whomever that might be. Most of the ones that I've met have never even considered that God might (not necessarily, but they haven't even considered the possibility) want them single for the time being, for a while, or maybe for forever. They're the ones who meet new people and it's obvious that they're surveying them for "spousal" characteristics. Awkward. They talk about finding "the one" constantly. They go singles' events, look to be matched up by friends, and just generally are incredibly focussed on finding this person.

#2 - IF GOD WANTS ME WITH SOMEONE, HE'LL BRING THEM AROUND

These people are living life focussed on God and themselves (I mostly fall into this camp). They aren't actively seeking a partner. They're making long term goals and plans that assume their singleness. They meet new people thinking "hey, here's a new friend," and often don't think that there's any romantic possibility there. Often, they don't go out of their way to even meet new people, since they're comfortable with the friends they currently have, and the activities they're currently doing. Obviously, this makes it difficult to meet future partners.


So those are the 2 categories. And my question is, which is the better attitude? What attitude should I have towards dating? As my great friend Elly says "You don't meet someone when you're looking, yet you don't meet them if you're not, either." If I'm hunting for a spouse, it's creepy! No guy wants to be evaluated as husband material the first time he meets you in a friendly social situation (at least, I know girls don't like that. There was a guy at camp who was there to meet a wife, and you could totally tell he was assessing all of the female staff. Ew!) And you miss out on so much of life when you're so focussed on what you don't have.

But on the other hand, when you get the ball rolling on a happy single life (which is where I am right now), how does someone new ever get in there? I've got the next 2 years of my life planned right out, and yeah, I'll meet some new people (hello, the 30-some women in my program; no men there, darn!), but I've got a life in Edmonton that's pretty settled at the mo., and I just don't see how a guy is going to a) meet me, b) secure a niche for himself in my short term plans, and c) deal with my long-term plans to live abroad (at least for a while).

So what's the solution? Am I supposed to be looking for a man? Should I just focus on living my life as it is, and hope that God squeezes him in somewhere? (Mum would say that she's pretty sure the creator of the universe can arrange for me to meet the right man, but I find it hard to believe sometimes.) More generally, what should my attitude be? One of "I'm keeping an eye out for the right guy" or one of "I'm keeping an eye on my life and my goals right now?"

Hm. I need to go to work and make some waffle cones. Maybe then I can get through all these crazy thoughts!

Love,
E.