Unbalanced: A Question of Priorities
I'm feeling frustrated at the moment. Yes. Frustrated is a good word. Frustrated in a vague general sense at our society's "live to work" attitude (I wish I were in Italy: "work to live" baby!), and more specifically, at being in a career where many of our instructors, mentors, and role models give lip service to 'balance' in their lives, but model a workaholic's existence.
I'm not even sure where to start, my head is so a-jumble with ideas and frustrations. Hm... It seems like the English 10 'funnel' of 'start general, end specific' might be a good way to go. So here goes!
Generally speaking, I believe that work is just one part of our lives. I believe that if I sign up for a 1.0 FTE position, I should be working 40 hours a week, not 50, or 60, 80. I fully understand that there will be exceptional times and circumstances wherein it will be necessary for me to stay. I'm Ok with that. What I'm not Ok with is being expected to work a 1.5 or 2.0 consistently after having been hired for a 1.0.
I feel similarly about school. YES, school is a priority. YES, it's important. YES, unlike a career, it is time-limited (as in, your program only lasts so long, be it 4 years or 2). That doesn't change my belief that school should not be the 'be-all, end-all' of my existence while I'm a Master's student.
Many members of my program have priorities that look like this:
1) SCHOOL
...
...
2) family/friends/significant other
3) hobbies
4) themselves
Their priorities are, of course, their choice. What concerns me is when I see a number of these women exhibiting clear symptoms of emotional and mental unwellness because of their obsession with their schoolwork. It concerns me to hear classmates talk of never getting enough sleep, of never seeing their friends, of having no time to do the things they love. How is this healthy? At what cost are they doing their very best in the program? Is it honestly, well and truly worth it? Is it truly their 'very best' when they're exhausted and frustrated?
I believe the answer is 'no.' Research shows that our degrees will be obsolete in 3 years - what will matter most is our experience in the field. CASLPA (our national college) explicitly states that it expects new graduates to be generalists, not specialists. And one or two of our professors have acknowledged that what really matters is a solid grounding coupled with the ability to know where to look when you have a question. With all of that in mind, why are we worry ourselves sick about cramming every morsel of knowledge into our heads, knowledge that most of us will have forgotten by the time we get to our first jobs? Why isn't our focus on grounding ourselves in the field, and becoming familiar with the resources available us?
Our focus is on being over-achieving excellence monkeys because a) we're SLPs, and most of us are Type A overachievers to begin with, and b) because that's what our role models show us. I have heard several professors in my department discuss the high burnout rate in speech, advocate for balance, then be in their offices from 7am til 7pm 5 days a week and be editing student work over the weekend. I have heard ONE clinician advocate for balance and actually demonstrate it in her career - and the whole time she was telling us about it, her tone was so apologetic that I'm convinced she gets very little respect for what I believe is a wise and healthy choice.
Today it was suggested to me that perhaps I might find it necessary to put Jason 'on hold' and 'see what he's made of' during this heavy semester. This comment stemmed from something that I had said about it being difficult to have a boyfriend who works an 8-5, and has evenings and weekends generally free. Jason wants to spend much of that time with me, and I would like to spend that time with him as well. My priorities look quite different from those above:
1) Me and my health (including faith, physical and mental health, etc.)
2) School, friends, family
3) Hobbies
4) Other commitments (e.g., junior church)
I consider my family and friends to be just as important as school. Quite often I don't get to see my friends as much as I'd like because of school commitments. Conversely, sometimes I don't do all of my readings because meeting with Al for a coffee is more important. It's a difficult balance, but one that supports my number one commitment: me and my health. It's distressing to me to be told that for four months, I should put everything on hold and go 100% all out on schoolwork. Firstly, I'd make myself crazy doing that. I need the social part of my life in order to be sane. I need to walk away from schoolwork, and not just once or twice a week. I need some time every day where I can be just Elizabeth, not Elizabeth-the-student. Secondly, it would do a lot of damage to the relationships in my life. It's hard to maintain a friendship when you give no time to staying in touch or being available. I'm not asking to maintain 36 different friendships - I'm thinking of three that are vital to me, and that I have no interest in 'putting on the back burner' just because school is heavy. Thirdly, I have no desire to implement unhealthy, unsustainable patterns in my life. If I do nothing but school for the next four months, either I'll be burnt out or I'll be well-practiced to do nothing but work for the next four. I never want to be a workaholic, and I've no desire to practice being one now.
Clearly, my schoolwork is important. I love being a speechie, even if it is a lot of work. I know that sometimes Jason's going to get to go off and have fun while I'm sitting at my desk, writing yet another draft of my proposal. I know that sometimes I'll get a little bit less sleep, or only run twice in a week, or not get to soak in the tub and read a novel. All of this I know, and can accept. What I'm not going to accept is not seeing my friends, not growing my relationship with Jason, not hanging out with Jacob, not going to church... just because it's a heavy term. Some readings aren't worth it, some assignments can be done quickly, some extra credit can be skipped. The people in my life are just as important to me (moreso!) than this degree. And I believe that I can have both in my life. It's just a question of priorities.
Ela
I'm not even sure where to start, my head is so a-jumble with ideas and frustrations. Hm... It seems like the English 10 'funnel' of 'start general, end specific' might be a good way to go. So here goes!
Generally speaking, I believe that work is just one part of our lives. I believe that if I sign up for a 1.0 FTE position, I should be working 40 hours a week, not 50, or 60, 80. I fully understand that there will be exceptional times and circumstances wherein it will be necessary for me to stay. I'm Ok with that. What I'm not Ok with is being expected to work a 1.5 or 2.0 consistently after having been hired for a 1.0.
I feel similarly about school. YES, school is a priority. YES, it's important. YES, unlike a career, it is time-limited (as in, your program only lasts so long, be it 4 years or 2). That doesn't change my belief that school should not be the 'be-all, end-all' of my existence while I'm a Master's student.
Many members of my program have priorities that look like this:
1) SCHOOL
...
...
2) family/friends/significant other
3) hobbies
4) themselves
Their priorities are, of course, their choice. What concerns me is when I see a number of these women exhibiting clear symptoms of emotional and mental unwellness because of their obsession with their schoolwork. It concerns me to hear classmates talk of never getting enough sleep, of never seeing their friends, of having no time to do the things they love. How is this healthy? At what cost are they doing their very best in the program? Is it honestly, well and truly worth it? Is it truly their 'very best' when they're exhausted and frustrated?
I believe the answer is 'no.' Research shows that our degrees will be obsolete in 3 years - what will matter most is our experience in the field. CASLPA (our national college) explicitly states that it expects new graduates to be generalists, not specialists. And one or two of our professors have acknowledged that what really matters is a solid grounding coupled with the ability to know where to look when you have a question. With all of that in mind, why are we worry ourselves sick about cramming every morsel of knowledge into our heads, knowledge that most of us will have forgotten by the time we get to our first jobs? Why isn't our focus on grounding ourselves in the field, and becoming familiar with the resources available us?
Our focus is on being over-achieving excellence monkeys because a) we're SLPs, and most of us are Type A overachievers to begin with, and b) because that's what our role models show us. I have heard several professors in my department discuss the high burnout rate in speech, advocate for balance, then be in their offices from 7am til 7pm 5 days a week and be editing student work over the weekend. I have heard ONE clinician advocate for balance and actually demonstrate it in her career - and the whole time she was telling us about it, her tone was so apologetic that I'm convinced she gets very little respect for what I believe is a wise and healthy choice.
Today it was suggested to me that perhaps I might find it necessary to put Jason 'on hold' and 'see what he's made of' during this heavy semester. This comment stemmed from something that I had said about it being difficult to have a boyfriend who works an 8-5, and has evenings and weekends generally free. Jason wants to spend much of that time with me, and I would like to spend that time with him as well. My priorities look quite different from those above:
1) Me and my health (including faith, physical and mental health, etc.)
2) School, friends, family
3) Hobbies
4) Other commitments (e.g., junior church)
I consider my family and friends to be just as important as school. Quite often I don't get to see my friends as much as I'd like because of school commitments. Conversely, sometimes I don't do all of my readings because meeting with Al for a coffee is more important. It's a difficult balance, but one that supports my number one commitment: me and my health. It's distressing to me to be told that for four months, I should put everything on hold and go 100% all out on schoolwork. Firstly, I'd make myself crazy doing that. I need the social part of my life in order to be sane. I need to walk away from schoolwork, and not just once or twice a week. I need some time every day where I can be just Elizabeth, not Elizabeth-the-student. Secondly, it would do a lot of damage to the relationships in my life. It's hard to maintain a friendship when you give no time to staying in touch or being available. I'm not asking to maintain 36 different friendships - I'm thinking of three that are vital to me, and that I have no interest in 'putting on the back burner' just because school is heavy. Thirdly, I have no desire to implement unhealthy, unsustainable patterns in my life. If I do nothing but school for the next four months, either I'll be burnt out or I'll be well-practiced to do nothing but work for the next four. I never want to be a workaholic, and I've no desire to practice being one now.
Clearly, my schoolwork is important. I love being a speechie, even if it is a lot of work. I know that sometimes Jason's going to get to go off and have fun while I'm sitting at my desk, writing yet another draft of my proposal. I know that sometimes I'll get a little bit less sleep, or only run twice in a week, or not get to soak in the tub and read a novel. All of this I know, and can accept. What I'm not going to accept is not seeing my friends, not growing my relationship with Jason, not hanging out with Jacob, not going to church... just because it's a heavy term. Some readings aren't worth it, some assignments can be done quickly, some extra credit can be skipped. The people in my life are just as important to me (moreso!) than this degree. And I believe that I can have both in my life. It's just a question of priorities.
Ela
posted by Elizabeth @ 11:53
2 Comments:
At 8:08 p.m.,
meesh said…
Good luck with the balance. I see the same problem with most professionals in the midst of their careers.
I am also facing priority choices. Whether to stay in a crappy job with a great place to live and relationship, or move to a better job but in Edmonton. Right now, I've chosen Edmonton, so I'll be there soon. Perhaps I can try and get some of your time as well? Or do your work for you? :-)
Balance is good, and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty for taking time for yourself.
At 12:58 p.m.,
Unknown said…
Amen to that.
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