My Cohort's Going Craaaazy!

Hey all! I finally have a bit of time, and something of interest to blog about. So yaaaaaaay! :D

Anyhoo, I was chatting with a couple of my friends yesterday, both girls who are my age. One of them has just bought a house, and the other has just gotten engaged. Wow! Congratulations to both of them, though I won't name names, as I don't know who all they've told yet. :) In many ways I can't believe that we're old enough for any of this yet, though Anna-Lisa (also my age) has been married for almost a year now. She sort of felt like the exception to the rule - and now it's like the rule's gone!

My comment to both these girls (women, I guess, if they're owning real estate and getting married!) was that I felt a bit left behind. Their response? "Yeah, but you're going to grad school!" Oh yeah! I am! So we're owners of homes, brides-to-be, and obtainers of graduate studies. It's pretty impressive what we can do. :)

I was surprised by that left-behind feeling, though. As those of you who know me well know, I'm not a real "couple" girl. I haven't dated a lot, marriage isn't a huge priority, and we all know how I feel about having kids. I'm exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to do - so why would I feel jealous of other women being in the same position?

I think it connects with the fact that women are still encouraged to see getting married and having a home as the ultimate goal. I'm fortunate in that no one's calling me an old maid yet (I have an aunt who was hearing comments like that when she was my age or younger), but it still seems like women who get engaged are celebrated like they've just conquered Everest. Reading an article in the Globe and Mail yesterday helped cement this idea in my mind. As the author quotes:

As British journalist Jemima Lewis wrote in the Spectator last year, "The newly betrothed woman is likely to be a little jittery. Her feminist sensibilities have been strained to the breaking point, and it doesn't help that everyone keeps exclaiming, 'Well done!' as if she were a 17th-century governess clawing her way out of poverty by bagging the local squire. If she is defensive, it is because she has realized how little the condition of womanhood has changed -- and how antediluvian her own instincts really are."

It's a tough call! Yes, it's exciting to get married, but does it have to be SUCH a big deal? I don't have any answers to this. Like many of my female friends, I've thought a lot about the wedding I'd like to have. Yet I trot around, living my single life to the fullest (and I love it!), and it seems weird to imagine giving it up at all, yet alone giving it up to the cheers and accolades of those around, apparently assuming I'm moving on to something 'better.'

Still, that odd left-behind feeling I had last night indicates that, to some extent, I agree with the idea that being married and settled into my own home is better than living the single life I am right now. Of course, if I were married, I doubt I'd be sitting as I am now: t shirt and running shorts with my new Steve Madden 3" peep toe heels on (as Paris Hilton would say, I look hot). Maybe I just need to keep counting the single blessings?? :)

So I suppose the long and the short of this rambling post is congratulations to the home owner. Congratulations to the fiancee. And congratulations to me - starting my Masters in just two short weeks. I can't wait to see you all!

Love,
Ela.